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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 07:13 pm (no subject)
heyy all
Hey guys so does anyone else have to get monitored by a doctor (aka eating disorder specialized doctor)once every month to check weight and blood pressure and heart? well i do and it sucks. i managed to push back RENFREW outpatient til further after florida due to my busy work schedule. so i have to do this monitoring thing instead. it's so annoying!!! anyhow i have it one wednesday. back to losing weight.... so today i didn't do too bad i mean it wasn't my best but at least i didn't binge on sugar or anything. I woke up down 1 pound I was 113.8. Now i am hoping I'm 112.8 tomorrow or at least in the 112's anywhere. I stopped eating at 2 pm and i am not hungry and have stayed in the room (due to the blizzard) and it is now 6:45 pm. I ate:

breakfast: coffee, 1 cup of sweetened iced green tea (70 cals), have to have something in my stomach when i take my meds

lunch: rolled up turkey breast & cheese on a few crackers (ewww i know) i was starvinggggg

I'm figuring that was around 600 calories but still i feel so gross for eating the cheese. Oh yes and half of a chocolate chip cookie.

so i really need to be 110 which is my GW 2 and i want to get there by thursday morning (christmas evening). I mean that's 3.8 more pounds to lose. it would be nice to get to 109 even. i'm packing a scale in my suitcase (how sick am i lol). i cannot go a whole week without weighing myself. also it is a family trip so i'm nervous about the food. i just have to be really careful. If i get to 109 or 110 then for the week of florida i'm going to just focus on maintaining and then go for my gw 3 of 105 when i get back after new years. So yesterday i was so proud of myself because i barely ate all day and then stopped eating at like 5 and had no dinner or anything and i stayed out of the kitchen and didn't have chocolate. today i really tried to stay away from sugar (except for the piece of cookie). it's already 7 pm and i'm already getting exhausted so i'm figuring just going to put on a funny show and get to sleep. i'm just feeling really depressed and lonely tonight. i think it's because i broke up with my boyfriend last week and i'm just not doing well with this whole being alone thing. it's really taking a toll on me. hope you girls are all well xoxo
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[info]financegrl23, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 04:11 pm (no subject)
Hey guys, sorry I haven't been posting much.   I'm back at my parent's house, and ... well honestly  I'm not going to "try" to lose weight while I'm here.   I'm going to keep a reasonable intake and see what happens.  I have to eat full dinners every night, so I'm trying not to eat too much before that.

I dunno, looking in the mirrors here I see that I look so much slimmer than I used to.  I guess that being in this place where I've always been "fat" makes me realize that I've become a lot skinnier since then.

*sigh*  I think this break will be good for me.

I'm so tired, I just want to  sleep constantly.  This semester wore me out.
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[info]tealparadise, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 11:24 pm day 2...success.
Current Location: Dubai
so the salt water flush yesterday was such a fucked up failure lol!! i forced myself to drink all that disgusting salty water and no effect happened.
anyway today is the second success day of my liquid fast. yesterday i had 50 calories worth of soup and today the same.
i MUST lose 3 kgs before my birthday (26! =S ) and am not in the mood to excercise while am on a fast =\
i just finished reading an amazing book by the dalai lama its called "the art of happiness" it is very nice i love reading such books they really help me a lot. i recommend this one. so tomorrow am starting another book called the art of meditation.
how are you all doing? tell me about ur days i love comments lol :P
XX
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[info]rubytuesday6, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 10:55 am Struggling.. grrr..
Hung out really late with some friends yesterday, and had to wake up early today for church. and let me tell you.. i feel like shiat. I feel restless and weak. Ugh. I need sleep.

One of my guy friends slept over and usually i cant eat in front of guys.. is that a good thing? idk just feel embarrassed. So i had to wait til he went to the store for me to finally eat.

I had some cereal and it was about 260 cals all together. Then i felt weak.

Ugh what is it with me?

So after i sang in church i came home and ate a total of lk 450 calories more. I felt like giving up and bingeing.. There was these twix chocolate bars all over the kitchen and OMG as i was gonna eat one my baby brother called. I was lk ok.. il eat this later. After i came back to the kitchen i looked at it and was lk "sooo not worth it".

so i put it down and went to the mirror to look at myself. I look skinnier.. yeah.. but why dont i see a big result on the scale? It bugs me ALOT.

So right now i made myself some green tea to boost my metabolism because i already had 720 cals today. I AM NOT GOING OVER 1000! That is my diet rule. i can eat up to 1000 calories. no MORE. Oh i feel so weak, but i know i can do this..

*sigh*

theres SO many things coming up.. why am i not skinny already? i usually always binge because im depressed.. usualy because i dont get to where i want to be..

Am i the only one with these problems?
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[info]natashacakes, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 01:09 pm (no subject)
Current Music: Friends and Alibis - Escape the Fate
Lately it's just been like I've been floating on a cloud of gray. I want to get all this disgusting fat off of my body, but I have pretty much zero motivation to work out or anything. The only upside is, with going back to school, I'm able to skip breakfast and lunch without my parents bugging me all day. The teachers I work with are totally oblivious to me not eating lunch. I just go sit with my friends for a lunch period, then go back to the room. I'm actually surprised that I don't pick at their food. But I have run into a problem: My stomach makes kinda loud noises. It happens everyday at the same time. I'm always chewing gum, and when it starts to rumble, I swallow the piece I'm chewing and get a new piece, which helps a little bit. But it still comes back after a bit. If I fill up with water or some other liquid, will it go away? Current stats: Height: 5'5" Weight: 103lbs Neck: 12" Wrist: 5.5" Lower arm (close to wrist): 6" Lower arm (close to elbow): 8" Upper arm (around biscep): 8" Bust: 29" Under bust: 27" (hah. So much for boobs, huh?) Waist: 22.75" Belly-button: 25.5" Waist: 29.5" Prepare for worst part: Upper thigh: 18" Lower thigh: 14" Calf: 12" Ankle: 8" God, I really hate how the weight comes off my top. Like, boobs were the first to go. Yay! Not. Any tips on how to get better legs? I've been tempted to buy those balance ball shoes or whatever. Anyone know if they really work or not? Hope everyone's okay! xox. Katie.
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[info]wastedchances, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 11:11 am (no subject)
Breakfast was 50g of fibre cereal stuff. 143.5 calories. My dad wants to go to Frankie and Benny's for lunch. I've looked at the site, and they don't have any nutritional information. We were all meant to be going out for lunch, and then to see St Trinians 2. I cannot go to F&B's. I've gained, and I need to make sure i dont keep gaining. I'm going to head into town to buy the secret santa present for tomorrow, then meet him at the cinema afterwards. i think that's my only option really.
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[info]blue_butterflyx, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 05:19 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: sad
Ergh. My plans to go under 400 cals today got ruined by my mom. She tried making chocolate pastries, and made Allegra (my younger sister) and me taste it for her.

I refused the pastry, insisting that I don't have a sweet tooth, but she made me eat it anyway. Sweets taste horrible to me. I couldn't even purge. My mom made me do the dishes with her, and she stared at me while I finished the pastry - god, it was painful eating such a sweet and fattening food.

So after I had the pastry, and realised I had no chance of ever purging, I put on my running gear and went out for a run - at four plus, where it was pretty cloudy. I rounded up a 2 mile jog, and went home.

My mom saw me in my trainers, nike tee and shorts, and she scowled. She was like, 'Why do you bother running so much?' I was so tempted to answer her, 'Because I wanted to get rid of that pastry you made me eat.' But I didn't.

I went back to my room, and Allegra was being a bitch, as usual. She asked me why do I even bother to run 80 miles a week, only to stay so fat. God, I wanted to slug her that instant. She doesn't deserve that figure of hers. >:[

Hope everyone's doing alright.

-Alysson.
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[info]lactoze, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 01:08 am (no subject)
does any one know of any good work out dvds, like mega calorie burning ones?
xxx
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[info]anattyblonde, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 06:05 pm I did it!
Yes ma'am! It's 6pm right now and I did it! So that makes 66 hours fasting. And now I'm on the hunt for one really fucking good salad. I can't believe I made it through work today without eating anything. No breakfast tacos, or donuts, or cookies, or chocolate. NOTHING! I sipped some tea, but it was gross. I'm so proud of myself. People kept offering me food and I kept turning it down. A whole lot of "No thank you's" were issued out today. I don't know where to get my salad from though. I want it to be really good. No iceberg lettuce crap. Not too fattening though. Dressing on the side, no cheese. I might have meat simply because I need the protein. Maybe that will make my heart shut-up. But wow! I didn't think I'd do it. It started out as a 24 hr fast and here I am at 66 or longer since I need to go do a bit of shopping and I need to decide where to eat if I eat at all. This fast could totally go on and on. I'm really spaced out right now and my chest hurts a little. Slight headache, but my body'll figure it out. It cannot win. I have power. I have control. It feels really good to be saying that again. For once I wasn't a total fuck up! Gosh I hope you ladies are succeeding at something, it doesn't even have to be concerning food. Just something in life because it feels GOOD! Thank you so much for all of the support and I'm here to encourage each and every one of you!
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[info]krina09, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 01:59 pm heya:)
Hey there =) I'm posting daily in my journal how im losing weight. I want to lose 40 pounds, if you want you can follow it. :)
Im always up for new friends!!
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[info]natashacakes, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 11:34 am (no subject)
It's almost noon and I'm on my lunch break. I KNEW there would be food at work this morning. Breakfast tacos and fresh donuts. I know they are right out the oven, but I'm convincing myself that they are old and try. They are literally sitting right in front of my face and the aroma permeating through the box is very tempting. But I won't eat one. My fast will be broken with a salad and nothing else. So in half and hour I will have made it 60 hours on my fast. I can do it. Abd if I can do that then surely I can make it another 6 hours! I really don't want to break it. I'm considering only having alcohol tonight, no food and then eating afterward if we do our usual. And then resume fasting afterward. But we'll have to see how I'm feeling at 6. We'll have to see if I even make it to six. Wish me luck ladies! AND~ I made my goal tht I set for today of 159 pounds, but I was actually 157 this morning. Two 2 pounds beyond. And 2 pounds into my Christmas goal. Only 2 more pounds to go and that's doable in a wek's time. I'm pushing harder than ever. I just need to get myself back to the gym soon. How bout starting a regimen in the New Year. I hope all of you ladies are doing well and succeeding. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
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[info]krina09, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 11:18 am (no subject)
I am stuck at a plateau again and I am so frustrated. I am not reaching my goal weight for saturday but I still have time till my vaca on thursday. i didn't lose a pound from yesterday when i thought i was going to. i think the grillled chicken salad was super salty and i had mozzarella on it. and at 1am i had a cookie but other than that the whole day i had only an apple yesterday. Today i am planning on just having 10 almonds and ice coffee all the way up until dinner. i need to weigh 113 by 4pm today. i don't know if that will happen since i was 114 this morning but i'm hoping for it. i wanted to lose 5 pounds by thursday for florida. why didn't i lose a pound or 1/2 a pound overnight i really barely ate. was it the one cookie or the salt? ugh anyhow i just woke up so disgusted and depressed and fat. what are you all doing to reach your goal weights for christmas?
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[info]financegrl23, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 19th, 2009 @ 12:41 am today..
shopping & friend's farewell party

had hiyashi chuuka (chinese/japanese cold noodles) *300* for lunch.
then teppanyaki for dinner. i'm not sure how much it was but there was miso soup, wasabi pickled vegetables, prawn, teriyaki chicken, steak (i only had 1 bite because it was medium-well) and a small serving of fried rice. the servings were all sufficiently small, but was really filling *say.. 500?*

i've got the most awesome friends anyone can ask for and it would be far too unfair for me to let my dieting take them away from me. i'm not saying that i want to give up again but after reading the comments i have received in my previous entry, i should balance out my social life and dieting by compensating. if i know i will be going out with friends, i will have to eat less on other days and when i'm with them i must not forget to control what i eat as well. otherwise i might just not eat when i'm alone..

thank you everyone for being such a supportive and helpful community!
i believe i can lose the 15kgs with you all ^^


lastly, do your family support your weight loss efforts?
my parents do and they are very well aware of the sudden swell in my weight..
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[info]miyo89, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 10:51 am what do you guys think?
Current Location: Dubai
okay so i will go do the salt water flush now i just woke up :)
i will also do a liquid fast for a week if i can, and i will excercise (mild walking) for an hour, plus a little dancing for like 25 minutes everyday.
do you guys think that is enough to lost 3 kilos by thursday? bare in mind that i have been stuck at 51 kgs for a long time now and it isnt changing. so what do you all think?
and if anyone with similar goals would like to join please let me know and we can exchange emails and be serious about this. because am really sick of my weight now.
and also, its getting kind of boring that all the posts are now revolved around food and what people binged on!! =\
so how are you all doing girlies? any good news to inspire me? :)
XXX
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[info]rubytuesday6, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 12:23 am Oh spam~
 Yes, I am sure most of you are tired of hearing from me every 6 hours, but I've made it to 48 hours. Longest fast since September maybe. I'm about to head to bed. I've had 2 glasses of wine and I'm tipsy-tired. I don't consider that breaking my fast since I haven't had any solid food and two glasses of wine ain't so bad when ur not eating at all. So, since I'm about to fall asleep, making it to 6 am is pretty much a given. I'm going to push for a 12 hr goal, putting me at 60 hours as of noon tomorrow. Huzzah! I can totally do this. If I make it to the end of my fast Friday evening, it'll be the best thing I've done in a while.... aside from completing my undergrad degree. After this weekend I'll be looking forward to my next fast. I hope all of you ladies are doing well and thanks again for your support! It means a lot!

---------------------------------------------

EDIT:

I forgot to write about side-effects. Yes, the effects of fasting have begun to hit me too. I don't know if it's the wine or the starvation, but I've hit the fasting high. Also, my chest has begun hurting again. Chest pains over my heart. A sharp pain that comes and goes. I know I'm dying every time I do this, but it doesn't stop me. A part of me wants to see how bad my heart can hurt. Sick, I know. And I'm a little spacey too. Detaching from the world... And a slight, annoying headache. Advil can fix that though.
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[info]krina09, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 17th, 2009 @ 07:30 pm (no subject)
I can't believe this is me.
I don't feel like I have collarbones like that( 90 )

So, the real question is..Am I Thin?
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[info]bazaarbees, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 17th, 2009 @ 08:52 pm 44 hours!!! Huzzah!!
So I made it to 6 pm and here I am and I still haven't eaten. I'm going to push for midnight. Only 3.5 more hours! If I'm feeling alright then, there's no reason why I can't make 6 am. If the pain is unbearable, I'll break my fast with chicken broth. All I've had today is a calcium supplement and a 180 cal protein shake at work to keep me from eating like I normally do. I want to thank all of you ladies who have supported me through this. It really does help to keep me going. I get all comments sent to my email which I can read on my iPhone throughout the day and it really keeps me focused, so thank you!

I work at 7 am tomorrow and my co-worker's boyfriend's (now ex-boyfriend) dad always bring food for us to eat at work. Breakfast tacos or donuts or cookies. He brought Baklava last week. Or maybe it was donuts last week and Baklava the week before. In any case, I always overeat and I have a terrible time resisting the temptation to stuff my face. So wish me luck tomorrow! Now that she and her boyfriend are broken up, I wonder if her boyfriend's dad will keep bringing food. I kind of hope not. Anyways, I'll need your help. I'm going to try to skip my lunch break tomorrow and tell them that I just don't need it. Or maybe I'll just nap in my car for 30 mins. I think the thing I'm most terrified about is bingeing once I end my fast. Can I really maintain control and just restrict or will I go berserk?! It makes me want to keep fasting because I'm afraid of bingeing. Bulimia definitely still has a hold on my thought processes and it's an internal battle everyday. I haven't purged in over a month, but the need to binge hasn't gone away just yet. I'm working on it though.

Oh yeah, I've dusted off and have begun wearing my "ana" bracelet again. God, saying that makes me cringe every time. I'm not pro ana by any means. Just the thought of being such a person makes me nauseous, but I find that seeing this bracelet on my wrist throughout the day keeps me motivated. It's also way too big so I'm constantly having to readjust it which is also a reminder. It was never intended to be an "ana" bracelet. Actually, my sister made one for each of the brides maids at one of my other sister's wedding. Little did she know that it would become an item of motivation for self-destruction lol! Kind of makes me feel like I have an inside joke with myself especially since she and I don't get along anymore. Take that! Here are a couple of pictures of it. It really is pretty.
( Photos )
 
 
Oh yeah, and I'm sick and tired of being too fat to fit into my clothes. I struggled putting on my fat jeans fresh out the dryer. That's no bueno. No bueno at all! Good luck to all you ladies, and sorry for the ramble. I'm trying to distract myself!
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[info]krina09, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 17th, 2009 @ 11:52 pm (no subject)
Worst two binge days
Second slightly better
But still
Ridiculous
Ugh
Why do we do these things?
Boo :(
Hope you're all doing better
x
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[info]same_old_tale, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 17th, 2009 @ 11:10 pm (no subject)
the doctor didnt listen when i told her i only had 2 pills left. She told me to wean myself off them, because of the high chance of shittiness. I'm feeling that shittiness right now. I just want to binge and purge and cut and cry. I'm so so sick of this.
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[info]blue_butterflyx, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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Dec. 18th, 2009 @ 08:45 am 24 hrs then boo~!! (S.O.S.)
i had to :(
it was unavoidable..

got asked out for chinese gourmet dinner, drinks and supper with my friends.
i tried my best to restrict myself but i had so much that i felt so sick when i got home at 11.30p.m.. i don't know how many calories i had in total for that night because i failed to keep track how much food i had for dinner (maybe about 600ish but it was good ^^; ) but i had green apple martini - maybe about 300mls(?), 1/2 glass of beer and some 150ish calories of korean nibbles for supper.
then i vomited at 12:30ish  due to the effects of the alcohol..

can someone tell me approximately do those alcohol drinks contain?



its really hard to avoid all these stuffing, especially during this season..
i love my friends but at the same time i don't want to shun away just because i don't want to eat.
i guess the best i can do for myself now is to not eat too much when i'm out and to not eat when i'm alone. (controlllll~~)

does anyone face this situation as well?
help? :'(
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[info]miyo89, posting in [info]am_i_thin
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